| | From The Heart 3 weeks has passed since the engagement but words are still buzzing around on the news and the spotlight just keeps on aiming on both of us. Honestly speaking, I really salute the Hollywood A-list celebrities for having to tolerate with all the attention the public is showering them and not to forget the dreaded paparazzi. How could they deal with it? I know my life compared to theirs is just like a speck of dust but it has been a challenging ride for me just to adapt in this new world. I have been a private person, exterior wise u can see a bubbly, cheeky type of person but when I have my own space, doing things my way, I am very private and to not to have the space on my own for these 3 weeks has been agonizing. I got cranky, I got upset, I got emotional and sensitive just because I got tired of the attention that people is giving and I miss the carefree life that both of us used to have once upon a time ago. Now it’s like we belong to the public! Well, erm not the public..but hopefully u get what I mean. I don’t blame them. You know, being in a culture like ours here in Malaysia, u get a mixture of everything: the mami jarum, the keypo chee, the ones who act like Datin..the kampong-ish type of ppl and the usual bunch of ppl who couldn’t care less of who you are but all in all, who doesn’t want to see “the fiancée”? Surely a glimpse would do, even if we don’t get into a conversation with each other. I knew I had to catch up fast with piecing up together the jigsaw puzzle of his family tree because 2 weeks after our engagement it was his eldest bro’s wedding. It’s hard, but I’m slowly adapting. It’s hard enough to accept the fact that I’m one step closer to be officially part of his family, but to actually find the “suitable” me to blend in with the bunch of ppl I mentioned above - the mami jarum, the keypo chee, the ones who act like Datin..the kampong-ish type of ppl and the usual bunch of ppl who couldn’t care less of who you are, THAT was hard. I just noticed I kept on mentioning the word HARD in my entry here. Well, it is ok! Don’t blame me for being frantic as I’m a first timer in this matter. I can’t help to think is my dressing ok? Do I carry myself well? Am I too quiet? Should I just be myself? Or should I follow the mood of the majority and be a hypocrite for a few hours just for the sake of mingling around? Who would have thought I would go ballistic over these matters. As for my fiancé, he would just say “relax.there’s .nothing to worry about.” But for us, women..that is SO not true. (At least for those who are in the same world as I am haha) The transition that I’m going through right now is testing how I would deal with certain situations in a matured manner. It’s ironic really that I’ve been wanting for this moment to come, to escape from constantly being under my parents’ watch, get a bling² on my finger, get married and live happily ever after but somehow, when I gotta deal with situations that I’m not equipped to deal, I so wish my parents were here to guard me, to protect me. But, this is reality. Sooner or later, I just gotta deal with what I gotta deal, like it or not, with or without my family around me..u just gotta have a grip on urself. My first test was the reception at the bride’s side; it was done at a hotel. I had to be at his house, gather with his family and we convoyed to the hotel. Luckily it was done at a hotel because 1) we were all separated per table so I don’t actually have to spend ample time with them 2) I brought my camera along, so I had the freedom to go wherever I want to take pictures 3) I like hotel environment, it’s more me. Hahaha..but my second test at his home was fuh..nerve wrecking. I just had to bring a friend along coz I know I’m unable to do so alone. Kenot tahan the mata helang u know, the observing eyes of the relatives like a hungry vulture aiming for its prey haha. Luckily a fren agreed to tag along. She was my savior, my life saver hahaha..damn I sound so dramatic. Long story to tell but to cut it short, I’m so grateful she was there and I can tell u there’s a lot of learning to be done here. U can go to http://kmieza1514.fotopages.com for some of the pics taken at the bride’s side. There’s no pics taken on the groom’s side coz the ambience wasn’t quite suitable. Am glad everything is over now, I can concentrate back on my life, on us as well. Fyi, I am unemployed for 3 weeks. I already quit my job last Friday and will be starting work at my new place in Cyberjaya on the 24th of March. I dunno how the work culture will be over there, it will be another MNC like my previous company, I’m cringing to the thought of having the training overseas, word has it that it could be a 7 weeks training in Geneva – yeah I know people would normally go ecstatic with the thought of going overseas for training but I’m soft hearted, I’m a hopeless romantic, I dun wanna leave him alone for too long haha. I’ll be working in shift as well, not the usual 9-5. I hope everyone can accept with the new change in my life – my family, his family, him coz I’m only accepting this new job, the new role as his fiancée for our future together. If you’re reading this, Mr fiancé – hope u can tolerate with all of these and I need your support in everything that I do. This update really is just a rambling of my thoughts..nothing specific. I guess the major transition requires me to adapt quickly that I haven’t been able to sink in the reality that’s going on in my life. Being an adult is tough! Haha. Till my next update ppl..chow! March – Month of Adaptation |
